you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
