all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
