the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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