I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
should my penis look like a turkey
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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