So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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