i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
