I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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