We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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