i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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