i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
