nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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