You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
