you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
