Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
