So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
