What a fucking waste of an outfit
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He passed out mid-signature
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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