i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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