I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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