do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
