Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
