hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
