I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I love you.
Bad choice
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
