I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
