She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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