you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
