Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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