They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
