I wish life had little blips of pornography
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
