My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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