...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
