if you like me you must not know who I am
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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