First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
