Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
