They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Church boner. Awkwardddd
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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