Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
