I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
