isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
