I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
