Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Still dying that you shit outside
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
