We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
