I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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