Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
