I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
