girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
