Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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