Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we have officially lost it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
