Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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