me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
