I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
