moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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