Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
